If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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