The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
