I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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