He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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