if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
