omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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