Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize