Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
