The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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