Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
oh god the rape fog is back!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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