My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
