The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
