why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
