I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
