i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I stole a fireplace last night.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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