You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
