Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
