Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
