I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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