i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
