one two three fourrrrnication!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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