I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
