butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
