MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize