He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
