Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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