My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
