Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
