think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
