What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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