I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize