did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
