the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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