I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
