i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
