There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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