It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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