I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
