Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize