Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
