I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
4 words: hood of his car
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
