So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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