You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
