Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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