I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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