But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
