You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
