My cat gives me a boner
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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