i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
