Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I want her autograph on my taint
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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