bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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