I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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