just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
