I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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