I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
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I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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