im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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