The maid of honor just puked.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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