I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
