Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
is wine microwaveable?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
