I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize