But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
