so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
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All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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