these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
