K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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