We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i now understand why vodka
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
