do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
