Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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